Quirky Diner Experience Seeker Gifts

'Are we indoors or outdoors?'

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

Pick Your Own Baby Lamb Chop

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'The customer is always right...'

'Can I get a box for this?'

"I read that meat can remain undigested in one's intestines for five years...."

"Give him his food."

"Can I have a doggie bag to go?"

Dave's Hamburger Shop

Sushi Train Spotters

'How d'you want your eggs - down your pants, over your head...?'

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

'Would you care for a drink while your food is being defrosted?'

Fast Food Restaurant

'We don't bring you anything. That's the surprise part.'

"I can highly recommend the peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich, served with a chilled glass of milk."

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

Our Troubled Chowders

"My apologies, but that's not a meatball. That's my computer mouse. I've been looking for it."

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

'Yes, all our flambe dishes come with injury, liability insurance.'

Suddenly Harold froze, trying to remember if he had ordered a side of roaches, or if this was a gross violation of public healthcare policy.

Salad Hat