Quirky Diner Lovers Gifts

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'The customer is always right...'

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

'Can I get a box for this?'

"I read that meat can remain undigested in one's intestines for five years...."

Sushi Train Spotters

"Can I have a doggie bag to go?"

"Give him his food."

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

Fast Food Restaurant

"I can highly recommend the peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich, served with a chilled glass of milk."

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

"My apologies, but that's not a meatball. That's my computer mouse. I've been looking for it."

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

Food inspection results

'How d'you want your eggs - down your pants, over your head...?'

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

Our Troubled Chowders

Suddenly Harold froze, trying to remember if he had ordered a side of roaches, or if this was a gross violation of public healthcare policy.

"I'll have the chef."

Sorry, that's probably one of mine.

"Please be advised that our new chef's policy is that you're not allowed to leave until you've finished all the food on your plate."

Salad Hat

'If that is a toenail, it is a French toenail.'