Quirky Restaurant Enthusiasts Gifts

Food inspection results

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

Kentucky Fried Horse

"All our vegetables are organic, ethically sourced and stunned before being boiled."

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

"So, I went into this fancy new butcher shop and they were selling ostrich of all things!"

"Can I have a doggie bag to go?"

"It's a combination of pizza and sushi and taco and egg roll and...it's just something everyone loves."

Sushi Train Spotters

"Give him his food."

'Can I get a box for this?'

'I don't eat red meat. That's ok, this is gone green.'

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

'How d'you want your eggs - down your pants, over your head...?'

"I can highly recommend the peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich, served with a chilled glass of milk."

"The insect menu is very popular nowadays."

Fast Food Restaurant

Octopi a la mode.

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

Roadkill Restaurant

"Is everything all right? Any reactions to the irradiated carrots, the transgenic tomatoes, or the antibiotics in the chicken?"

Our Troubled Chowders

'Would you care for a drink while your food is being defrosted?'

'What on earth is this? Hedgehog soup.'

Suddenly Harold froze, trying to remember if he had ordered a side of roaches, or if this was a gross violation of public healthcare policy.

"Nice going, Larry. They're going in after your liverwurst and sardine sandwich that fell behind the fridge last month."

"We have sparkling and still, but I'll have to ask if we have black."

"And for your entree, sir?"

"Please be advised that our new chef's policy is that you're not allowed to leave until you've finished all the food on your plate."

What can I get you? Coffee? Tea? Sandwich? The mackerel mocha sounds lovely. What's in it? The usual. Chocolate. Soy milk. Mackerel. Yes, but is the mackerel farm-raised or from the sea? Ocean. Atlantic? Pacific? Indian? Arctic? Antarctic? I'm not sure. Oh. Ok ... well what's the mackerel's mercury content? Negligible, I'm sure. Ok. Was it exposed to any chlorine? Or copper sulphate? Or malathion? Was it treated with kindness? Was it read stories and sung to before bedtime? Yes. Never mind, it s

Salad Hat