Quirky Diners Gifts

"I'm not very hungry - just bring me some chopsticks."

Frank 'n' Steins...beer & bratwurst (chef Frankenstein).

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

"My therapist recommended this place. It's eclectic without being schizophrenic."

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that much of a surprise.'

'I'm going to try some mild shock therapy - I want you to go to Fred's Diner and order the Chef's Surprise.'

Cannibal's Menu.

Sushi Train Spotters

The menu looks good!

'Joe-do we do a business man's lunch?'

'I'll have the duck ? l'orange, without the duck, of course.'

"Is that your 'God Bless America' or mine?"

'Oh, i'm actually dining alone. I just prefer this seat.

"Waiter! I need a doggie bag and a body bag, please."

'Aside from the cockroach, how was everything?'

'What wine do you recommend with Valium?'

They shouldn't have to warn you about possible little bones in your meal at a vegetarian restaurant.

I told you not to order the house dressing. Hurg.

"We have sparkling and still, but I'll have to ask if we have black."

"Vulnerability isn't something I look for in my cuisine."

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

"I'll have the chef."

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius