Quirky Diner Fans Gifts

'We're all out of socks, - how about a nice slipper instead?'

"Herbert! You don't know how to order here! It's a different language...they'll eat you alive!"

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

"How about a little more coffee?"

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'The customer is always right...'

"I read that meat can remain undigested in one's intestines for five years...."

Dave's Hamburger Shop

I Heart Dinosaurs Chef

'Can I get a box for this?'

"....and some apple pie for dessert...oh miss, remember that a la mode!"

Sushi Train Spotters

Mom's Diner - Thanks for not talking about your father.

'Sorry about that - Lenny accidentally used jumping beans.'

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

"My apologies, but that's not a meatball. That's my computer mouse. I've been looking for it."

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

"We have sparkling and still, but I'll have to ask if we have black."

'I'm afraid things are rather confused around here today, sir- the Soup of the Day is a grilled-cheese sandwich'

"I'll have the chef."

"Pecan pie with rum-raisin ice cream is the best revenge."

"Dinner looks delicious."