Quirky Diner Fan Gifts

"Bring me the head of Alfredo Garcia and a cup of coffee."

Cat drinking Milk at Diner Counter.

Clancy Strip:Bad Service at the Diner

"A glitch in production - everyone gets a prune omelette with sardines."

"How can you be out of wings?"

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

"How about a little more coffee?"

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'The customer is always right...'

Dave's Hamburger Shop

Sushi Train Spotters

"....and some apple pie for dessert...oh miss, remember that a la mode!"

"I read that meat can remain undigested in one's intestines for five years...."

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

Joe's Truckstop Diner: Eat In - Take Out - Poop somewhere else.

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

"My apologies, but that's not a meatball. That's my computer mouse. I've been looking for it."

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

Mom's Diner - Thanks for not talking about your father.

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

'Sorry about that - Lenny accidentally used jumping beans.'

'And you didn't think there would be any customers for liver-flavored cupcakes.'

"Dinner looks delicious."

'I'm afraid things are rather confused around here today, sir- the Soup of the Day is a grilled-cheese sandwich'