Quirky Diner Lover Gifts

Diners sit in high chairs, wear bibs and eat baby food. Man says: 'I love this place, it's just so retro.'

Eat at Joe's Topless Diner.

Diner.

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

'How is the water prepared?'

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'The customer is always right...'

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

"I read that meat can remain undigested in one's intestines for five years...."

Sushi Train Spotters

Dave's Hamburger Shop

'How d'you want your eggs - down your pants, over your head...?'

'Would you care for a drink while your food is being defrosted?'

"My apologies, but that's not a meatball. That's my computer mouse. I've been looking for it."

Our Troubled Chowders

"What do you recommend today?"

Fast Food Restaurant

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

Suddenly Harold froze, trying to remember if he had ordered a side of roaches, or if this was a gross violation of public healthcare policy.

'If that is a toenail, it is a French toenail.'

Salad Hat