Quirky Diner Lover Gifts

Diners sit in high chairs, wear bibs and eat baby food. Man says: 'I love this place, it's just so retro.'

Eat at Joe's Topless Diner.

Diner.

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

'How is the water prepared?'

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'The customer is always right...'

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

Sushi Train Spotters

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"I read that meat can remain undigested in one's intestines for five years...."

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

"My apologies, but that's not a meatball. That's my computer mouse. I've been looking for it."

'Would you care for a drink while your food is being defrosted?'

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

Fast Food Restaurant

Our Troubled Chowders

"What do you recommend today?"

'How d'you want your eggs - down your pants, over your head...?'

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

Suddenly Harold froze, trying to remember if he had ordered a side of roaches, or if this was a gross violation of public healthcare policy.

'I'm afraid things are rather confused around here today, sir- the Soup of the Day is a grilled-cheese sandwich'