Ironic Diner Fan Gifts

'Do you have anything that's not fried?'

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

I Heart Dinosaurs Chef

Mom's Diner - Thanks for not talking about your father.

'I'm sorry the cod was not as good as when you came a month ago. It should have been - it was the same fish...'

'I'm not very hungry after eating my first quarter losses.'

'The waitress gave us a weird look. On the way back, I'd better drive and you can stick your head out the window.'

Bob ordered the breakfast special of bacon with two eggs served any way he wanted.

Diners sit in high chairs, wear bibs and eat baby food. Man says: 'I love this place, it's just so retro.'

"It's nothing new. We've always offered a complimentary beard wash following an order of ribs."

I recommend the ketchup.

Full Moon Diner

"Freshly ground Ozempic?"

Customer admires courtyard of bagel shaped restaurant.

Today's Special: Escargot Appetizer

'Waiter there's a mouse in my soup.'

'The chef says that the quail was out but he prepared that little critter he ran over on the motorway which tastes similar and you nouveau riche snobs will never notice the difference anyway.'

"Combination No. 5--no MSG."

"Here's your 'Senior Citizen Sunrise Special', Sir. And, NO! You can't have any salt!"

Today's special: Roadkill stew.

'You want a pizza with everything -- Do you comprehend the philosophical implications of that'

The food was nice...but something was missing.

"Yes sir, this is half a steak. The guest who had it yesterday wasn't very hungry."

Spacious Skies - Amber Waves of Grain - Purple Mountains - Fruited Plain - Leo's Diner

'We're all out of socks, - how about a nice slipper instead?'

"So what exactly is wrong with the teabag? Nobody else has complained about it!"

"Herbert! You don't know how to order here! It's a different language...they'll eat you alive!"

"A glitch in production - everyone gets a prune omelette with sardines."

'Boil in the bag or microwaved?'