Diner Comic Fan Gifts

'Waiter! There's a depressed person in my soup'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

Diner

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

'How would you like your toast?'

"How about a little more coffee?"

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

"A votre sante!"

"Red wine with fish? Sometimes you really are a monster."

I Heart Dinosaurs Chef

"The usual."

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"

"....and some apple pie for dessert...oh miss, remember that a la mode!"

Dave's Hamburger Shop

'Would you folks care for some fresh maple syrup on your pancakes?'

'...And an extra packet of crackers! It's our Anniversary!'

'Sorry about that - Lenny accidentally used jumping beans.'

"Just a drop."

A train's dining car is a diner.

"Take your time. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."

"Well. . . the cost of living was getting too high, so. . ."

"I'm told the omelettes here have a broader purpose."

'Meat loaf again!'

"Pecan pie with rum-raisin ice cream is the best revenge."

Mum's Diner - you finish those veggies!

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

'A fly in your soup, eh? -- Call me if it gets any worse.'