Comedy Diner Fan Gifts

Bob ordered the breakfast special of bacon with two eggs served any way he wanted.

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

'In case of fire, don't panic. Pay your bill then leave.'

All you can eat chicken $3.95: "Cooked is 20 dollars extra."

"Oh, don't worry about that—it only goes off when someone taps 'no tip.'"

"You folks like a little something?"

'The waitress gave us a weird look. On the way back, I'd better drive and you can stick your head out the window.'

"I'm getting something to speed things up, Jenkins. A skateboard."

Full Moon Diner

'Self service.' 'How much do I tip myself?'

'Waiter there's a mouse in my soup.'

'You want a pizza with everything -- Do you comprehend the philosophical implications of that'

"It says. . . 'That wasn't chicken.'"

Today's Special: Escargot Appetizer

"Combination No. 5--no MSG."

'Do you have anything that's not fried?'

'We're all out of socks, - how about a nice slipper instead?'

'I'll have 40 percent of what he's having.'

When Barry decided to start a campaign for gum control.

'Take no notice, I fired him ten minutes ago.'

'Can you recommend something good that won't look too fattening to passers-by?'

"I don't think the new guy is working out."

"Officer, wrong number."

'Can't you read?'

"Herbert! You don't know how to order here! It's a different language...they'll eat you alive!"

'I think I've got one, Doris!'