Diner Humor Fan Gifts

'Sunnyside down.'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

"May we see your kids' menu please?"

"Hey! Waiter! This is a dessert wine!"

'In case of fire, don't panic. Pay your bill then leave.'

'If you mean Janet, she works the late shift.'

'I just come here for the ambiance. The food's lousy, so ordered a pizza be delivered.'

'I didn't find a finger in my chili!'

'I'll have the frogs legs - and make sure they're kneeling.'

'What's your thumb doing on my steak?' 'Want me to drop it again?'

"How about you? Were you 'locally raised'?"

"Chicken on a bend of spinach and onions?"

"Would you like any suburbs, or just the check?"

Bob ordered the breakfast special of bacon with two eggs served any way he wanted.

'Waiter there's a mouse in my soup.'

'Do you have anything that's not fried?'

"It says. . . 'That wasn't chicken.'"

"I'll have the fish chowder, hold the flotsam and jetsam."

'What's the special?'

'You want a pizza with everything -- Do you comprehend the philosophical implications of that'

"Waiter, there are needles in my stew."

'Tartar sauce?! Heaven no. My dentist would kill me.'

'Take no notice, I fired him ten minutes ago.'

"In lieu of a tip, can one of you take a shift for me?"