Quirky Diner Lovers T-Shirts

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'The customer is always right...'

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

'Can I get a box for this?'

"I read that meat can remain undigested in one's intestines for five years...."

"Give him his food."

"Can I have a doggie bag to go?"

Sushi Train Spotters

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

"My apologies, but that's not a meatball. That's my computer mouse. I've been looking for it."

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

"I can highly recommend the peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich, served with a chilled glass of milk."

Our Troubled Chowders

Fast Food Restaurant

Food inspection results

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

'How d'you want your eggs - down your pants, over your head...?'

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

Suddenly Harold froze, trying to remember if he had ordered a side of roaches, or if this was a gross violation of public healthcare policy.

"Please be advised that our new chef's policy is that you're not allowed to leave until you've finished all the food on your plate."

'If that is a toenail, it is a French toenail.'

Salad Hat

'Waiter...!' (there is a human in my soup)

"We have sparkling and still, but I'll have to ask if we have black."