Quirky Diner Adventures T-Shirts

'If it has a 'G' next to it, it'll give you a little gas; a 'B' will cause some belching; 'N' may create a bit of nausea...'

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

'How is the water prepared?'

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."

Pick Your Own Baby Lamb Chop

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'The customer is always right...'

'Can I get a box for this?'

Sushi Train Spotters

"I read that meat can remain undigested in one's intestines for five years...."

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"Give him his food."

"Can I have a doggie bag to go?"

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

"My apologies, but that's not a meatball. That's my computer mouse. I've been looking for it."

Food inspection results

"I can highly recommend the peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich, served with a chilled glass of milk."

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

Our Troubled Chowders

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

Suddenly Harold froze, trying to remember if he had ordered a side of roaches, or if this was a gross violation of public healthcare policy.

Salad Hat

'If that is a toenail, it is a French toenail.'

"Please be advised that our new chef's policy is that you're not allowed to leave until you've finished all the food on your plate."