Quirky Dining Lovers T-Shirts

"Salt mill?"

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

Kentucky Fried Horse

"So, I went into this fancy new butcher shop and they were selling ostrich of all things!"

"Can I have a doggie bag to go?"

'Can I get a box for this?'

Sushi Train Spotters

"It's a combination of pizza and sushi and taco and egg roll and...it's just something everyone loves."

"Give him his food."

'I don't eat red meat. That's ok, this is gone green.'

Roadkill Restaurant

Our Troubled Chowders

"Is everything all right? Any reactions to the irradiated carrots, the transgenic tomatoes, or the antibiotics in the chicken?"

'How d'you want your eggs - down your pants, over your head...?'

"The insect menu is very popular nowadays."

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

Food inspection results

Fast Food Restaurant

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

'What on earth is this? Hedgehog soup.'

"I can highly recommend the peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich, served with a chilled glass of milk."

"Nice going, Larry. They're going in after your liverwurst and sardine sandwich that fell behind the fridge last month."

Suddenly Harold froze, trying to remember if he had ordered a side of roaches, or if this was a gross violation of public healthcare policy.

"Please be advised that our new chef's policy is that you're not allowed to leave until you've finished all the food on your plate."

'O.K. Smarty Pants, here's your fish, cheese, egg, strawberry jam and pickle sandwich with a topping of ice cream and mustard. Pay up!'

"I'll have the chef."

"We have sparkling and still, but I'll have to ask if we have black."

Salad Hat

'Who ordered the chef's head?'