Quirky Dining Lovers T-Shirts

"Salt mill?"

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

"All our vegetables are organic, ethically sourced and stunned before being boiled."

Kentucky Fried Horse

"So, I went into this fancy new butcher shop and they were selling ostrich of all things!"

"Can I have a doggie bag to go?"

"Give him his food."

'Can I get a box for this?'

"It's a combination of pizza and sushi and taco and egg roll and...it's just something everyone loves."

Sushi Train Spotters

'I don't eat red meat. That's ok, this is gone green.'

Roadkill Restaurant

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

"The insect menu is very popular nowadays."

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

Octopi a la mode.

Food inspection results

Our Troubled Chowders

"Is everything all right? Any reactions to the irradiated carrots, the transgenic tomatoes, or the antibiotics in the chicken?"

'What on earth is this? Hedgehog soup.'

"I can highly recommend the peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich, served with a chilled glass of milk."

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

'How d'you want your eggs - down your pants, over your head...?'

Fast Food Restaurant

"Nice going, Larry. They're going in after your liverwurst and sardine sandwich that fell behind the fridge last month."

Suddenly Harold froze, trying to remember if he had ordered a side of roaches, or if this was a gross violation of public healthcare policy.

"Please be advised that our new chef's policy is that you're not allowed to leave until you've finished all the food on your plate."

What can I get you? Coffee? Tea? Sandwich? The mackerel mocha sounds lovely. What's in it? The usual. Chocolate. Soy milk. Mackerel. Yes, but is the mackerel farm-raised or from the sea? Ocean. Atlantic? Pacific? Indian? Arctic? Antarctic? I'm not sure. Oh. Ok ... well what's the mackerel's mercury content? Negligible, I'm sure. Ok. Was it exposed to any chlorine? Or copper sulphate? Or malathion? Was it treated with kindness? Was it read stories and sung to before bedtime? Yes. Never mind, it s

'O.K. Smarty Pants, here's your fish, cheese, egg, strawberry jam and pickle sandwich with a topping of ice cream and mustard. Pay up!'

"I'll have the chef."

"We have sparkling and still, but I'll have to ask if we have black."

If the fruit isn't genetically modified, explain the fruit fly.

Salad Hat