Quirky Dining Experience Seeker Gifts

Tooters.

All our meals digest easily forming a soft, mushy stool with just a hint of acridity.

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

Pick Your Own Baby Lamb Chop

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'Can I get a box for this?'

"Can I have a doggie bag to go?"

"Give him his food."

Sushi Train Spotters

Fast Food Restaurant

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

Food inspection results

'Would you care for a drink while your food is being defrosted?'

"I can highly recommend the peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich, served with a chilled glass of milk."

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

'We don't bring you anything. That's the surprise part.'

'How d'you want your eggs - down your pants, over your head...?'

Our Troubled Chowders

Suddenly Harold froze, trying to remember if he had ordered a side of roaches, or if this was a gross violation of public healthcare policy.

"We have sparkling and still, but I'll have to ask if we have black."

"I'll have the chef."

"And for your entree, sir?"

"Please be advised that our new chef's policy is that you're not allowed to leave until you've finished all the food on your plate."

'Who ordered the chef's head?'

Salad Hat

How To Turn A Closed-Down Nuclear Reactor Into A Theme Restaurant: A Master Plan.

"You want fries with that Chardonnay?"

I recommend the ketchup.

Todays Special: Beans on Toast #2.50 (use of tin-opener 10- extra. . .)

'I'll have the duck ? l'orange, without the duck, of course.'

"Waiter! Waiter! There's no flies in my soup!"