Quirky Diner Hunter T-Shirts

'You don't need a menu here, mate. If you can't see it on my apron, we don't sell it.'

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

'How is the water prepared?'

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

Pick Your Own Baby Lamb Chop

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'The customer is always right...'

Sushi Train Spotters

"The usual."

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"I read that meat can remain undigested in one's intestines for five years...."

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

Diner. We're out of link sausages. Are patties okay? Any pork in a storm!

'Would you care for a drink while your food is being defrosted?'

'How d'you want your eggs - down your pants, over your head...?'

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

'Hey, Frenchie - you call this paupiettes de beouf aux legumes?'

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

"My apologies, but that's not a meatball. That's my computer mouse. I've been looking for it."

Fast Food Restaurant

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

'Yes, all our flambe dishes come with injury, liability insurance.'

"And for your entree, sir?"

'I'm afraid things are rather confused around here today, sir- the Soup of the Day is a grilled-cheese sandwich'

"We have sparkling and still, but I'll have to ask if we have black."