Diner With A Twist T-Shirts

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that surprising.'

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

'Try the steak tartare...it's okay.'

Dali Chooses a Lobster

"For drinks or dinner?"

"I know you're a cat person, but do you have to knock things off the table when we're out?"

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

Sushi Train Spotters

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

"Hey! Waiter! This is a dessert wine!"

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

'Yes, all our flambe dishes come with injury, liability insurance.'

"I'll have the crescent-crab 'purses' and the smoked duck 'hash' – hold the quotation marks."

Man eating his meal with his feet.

"We have sparkling and still, but I'll have to ask if we have black."

"I'll have the chef."

'Can I get you anything else, sir?'

'I'll have the duck ? l'orange, without the duck, of course.'

'If it has a 'G' next to it, it'll give you a little gas; a 'B' will cause some belching; 'N' may create a bit of nausea...'

"Is that your 'God Bless America' or mine?"

"I'll have the fish chowder, hold the flotsam and jetsam."

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that much of a surprise.'

'Aside from the cockroach, how was everything?'

Frank 'n' Steins...beer & bratwurst (chef Frankenstein).

'It would never work out, Harry -- I'm wine and cheese, and you're beer and pretzels.'

"People don't care what they're eating as long as they're the first ones to eat it."

'One slice of toast and a bottle of ketchup, please.'

Good grief! What did we order?!

"Waiter! I need a doggie bag and a body bag, please."

"My therapist recommended this place. It's eclectic without being schizophrenic."