Diner With A Twist T-Shirts

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that surprising.'

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

'Try the steak tartare...it's okay.'

"For drinks or dinner?"

Dali Chooses a Lobster

"I know you're a cat person, but do you have to knock things off the table when we're out?"

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

Sushi Train Spotters

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

"Hey! Waiter! This is a dessert wine!"

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

'Yes, all our flambe dishes come with injury, liability insurance.'

Hi. I'm Jonathan. I'll be your judge this afternoon. Legal Menu.

"We have sparkling and still, but I'll have to ask if we have black."

"I'll have the crescent-crab 'purses' and the smoked duck 'hash' – hold the quotation marks."

"I'll have the chef."

Man eating his meal with his feet.

'I'll have the duck ? l'orange, without the duck, of course.'

'Can I get you anything else, sir?'

'If it has a 'G' next to it, it'll give you a little gas; a 'B' will cause some belching; 'N' may create a bit of nausea...'

"Is that your 'God Bless America' or mine?"

"I'll have the fish chowder, hold the flotsam and jetsam."

I told you not to order the house dressing. Hurg.

'It would never work out, Harry -- I'm wine and cheese, and you're beer and pretzels.'

'Aside from the cockroach, how was everything?'

Frank 'n' Steins...beer & bratwurst (chef Frankenstein).

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that much of a surprise.'

"People don't care what they're eating as long as they're the first ones to eat it."

'One slice of toast and a bottle of ketchup, please.'

"Waiter! I need a doggie bag and a body bag, please."

"I'll start with the arugula-and-goat-cheese salad, and then I'll have the blackened wolf."