Diner With A Sense Of Humor T-Shirts

"I'll have the fish chowder, hold the flotsam and jetsam."

"Hey! Waiter! This is a dessert wine!"

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"Give my compliments to the Biotech industry"

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

'What do you have that hasn't been cloned?'

"Tonight, we'll be eating hot dogs with a mustard-ketchup-and-pickle purée, accompanied by peas lightly sprinkled with ketchup. Then fettuccine al dente with a ketchup sauce, followed by applesauce maison with a dollop of you know what!"

"Be right with you - just need to call for a tow truck and change today's 'Catch of the Day' to venison."

"What fly?"

"May we see your kids' menu please?"

'I just come here for the ambiance. The food's lousy, so ordered a pizza be delivered.'

'I'll have the frogs legs - and make sure they're kneeling.'

Menu. Everything looks so delicious! Thank you!

There's a strange mist over my food. You never heard of pea soup fog?

"How about you? Were you 'locally raised'?"

'Waiter, is it raining?' ] 'Sorry, not my table.'

"Would you like any suburbs, or just the check?"

'For obvious reasons the chowder's made with chicken and pork.'

Bob ordered the breakfast special of bacon with two eggs served any way he wanted.

Please be gentle, waiter. This is my first salad. I'm sorry, sir, but there's a reason they call it "roughage."

"It says. . . 'That wasn't chicken.'"

'Waiter there's a mouse in my soup.'

"Waiter, there are needles in my stew."

"I'm sorry, sir. That's the children's menu."

'Just bring us your best beers-all of 'em.'

'Yes, I'd like something to wash this wine down with!'

"Expect a generous gratuity on table 9...I hacked his tip calculator."

'I highly recommend the mousecargot.'

'There must be some mistake -- Kings don't pay for things.'

'Is everything O.K.?'

'Yon lad's got a chip on his shoulder.' 'Aye, he's certainly a messy eater.'