Unconventional Diner Gifts

"I'll start with the arugula-and-goat-cheese salad, and then I'll have the blackened wolf."

Man eating his meal with his feet.

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

How The Sausage Is Eaten

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

Dali Chooses a Lobster

"For drinks or dinner?"

'The customer is always right...'

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

"Fresh pepper?"

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"I read that meat can remain undigested in one's intestines for five years...."

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

Ketchup Kafe...Where Kondiment is King!

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

"My apologies, but that's not a meatball. That's my computer mouse. I've been looking for it."

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

"I'm allergic to penicillin—is there penicillin in the salad?"

'Yes, all our flambe dishes come with injury, liability insurance.'

'Waiter...!' (there is a human in my soup)

'If that is a toenail, it is a French toenail.'

"Guac-A-Mole"

Road Kill Cafe.

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

'I'm afraid things are rather confused around here today, sir- the Soup of the Day is a grilled-cheese sandwich'

'Thanks for the invite: Don't cook anything fancy, I eat pretty much anything...'