Restaurant Diner Gifts

'Could I have some more sugar cubes please?'

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

'You complimented the chef on his dumplings -now he wishes to return the compliments!'

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

I love Cannelloni

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

How The Sausage Is Eaten

Countervailing Clichés.

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

'How is the water prepared?'

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

'Can I have flies with that'

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

'Well, if you're going to order 'left wings' and I'm going to order 'right,' maybe we should just order burgers instead.'

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."

'Enjoy your meal - but be warned we have a very bad tempered chef.'

"Well, okay I'll eat it. But, only if you have a medical team on stand by."

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

'Good thing you ordered a double portion.'

You're pig-headed, Louis, I like that in a man.

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

'They're not mints - they're antacid tablets.'