Diner Diner Gifts

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

Countervailing Clichés.

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

'How is the water prepared?'

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

'Can I have flies with that'

'Well, if you're going to order 'left wings' and I'm going to order 'right,' maybe we should just order burgers instead.'

"Tia Carmen, if you had a bucket list, what would you put in it?"

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

Zagat Rated.

'They're not mints - they're antacid tablets.'

You're pig-headed, Louis, I like that in a man.

'Yeah we found it, hey Ichabod, remember that jack o' lantern somebody left at table two this morning? Where is it?'

'Excellent cork, go ahead and pour.'

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

Chicken Coupe.

Big Boy Foot

'Oh boy, my favourite: Cheese Fondue...'

'Careful, the plate is really hot.'

Okay... which one of you ordered the holy mackerel?

'You made me jump,'

'Your tea is getting cold.'

"It's made with real angel hair."

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

'Ralph, I'm gonna' need wings on the fly!'

I like the look of the sherry trifle!

Diner. Breakfast Specials. I'm a type "C" personality. Until I have my morning coffee I have no personality at all.

'Maybe you shouldn't eat by your keyboard.'

'Not yet! Wait until he hits the breaking point... we just gave him some warm, soft bread and the cold, hard butter... THEN we bring out the flimsy plastic knife.'