Dinner Diner Gifts

'If you need anything, here's my e-mail address.'

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

Countervailing Clichés.

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

'How is the water prepared?'

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

"Regular service or affected?"

'Can I have flies with that'

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

"'Well done' lulled him into complacency."

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

"No, my consomme was perfect, but my husbands calamari is a little underdone."

'Well, if you're going to order 'left wings' and I'm going to order 'right,' maybe we should just order burgers instead.'

"Tia Carmen, if you had a bucket list, what would you put in it?"

"Aperitif?"

Zagat Rated.

'Tasty bird.'

You're pig-headed, Louis, I like that in a man.

'They're not mints - they're antacid tablets.'

'How would you like that? Medium, rare, or wrapped in plastic on a foam tray?'

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

"Perhaps I'm asking too much of you in the way of companionship."

A menu with risks and benefits

'Yeah we found it, hey Ichabod, remember that jack o' lantern somebody left at table two this morning? Where is it?'

'Waiter, you seem to have mixed my bill up with somebody who wants to buy this restaurant.'

'I've found taking a sip of another table's wine is an effective conversation starter.'

Big Boy Foot

Chicken Coupe.

'You made me jump,'

Lunch

"It's made with real angel hair."

'Careful, the plate is really hot.'