Diner Diner Pillows

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

Countervailing Clichés.

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

'How is the water prepared?'

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

'Can I have flies with that'

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

'Well, if you're going to order 'left wings' and I'm going to order 'right,' maybe we should just order burgers instead.'

"Tia Carmen, if you had a bucket list, what would you put in it?"

You're pig-headed, Louis, I like that in a man.

Zagat Rated.

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

'They're not mints - they're antacid tablets.'

'Yeah we found it, hey Ichabod, remember that jack o' lantern somebody left at table two this morning? Where is it?'

'Excellent cork, go ahead and pour.'

I like the look of the sherry trifle!

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

'Careful, the plate is really hot.'

'Oh boy, my favourite: Cheese Fondue...'

'Your tea is getting cold.'

Chicken Coupe.

Okay... which one of you ordered the holy mackerel?

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

Big Boy Foot

'You made me jump,'

'Ralph, I'm gonna' need wings on the fly!'

"It's made with real angel hair."

'Maybe you shouldn't eat by your keyboard.'

'Not yet! Wait until he hits the breaking point... we just gave him some warm, soft bread and the cold, hard butter... THEN we bring out the flimsy plastic knife.'

'Help! -- I ate too much and I can't get up!'