Diner Server Gifts

'Well, if you're going to order 'left wings' and I'm going to order 'right,' maybe we should just order burgers instead.'

DAVE'S DINER, ASK ABOUT OUR 'FLASH IN THE PAN' SPECIAL!

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

Countervailing Clichés.

'Who gets the decaf?'

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

'How is the water prepared?'

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

'Can I have flies with that'

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

'A Quarter-Tonner, please.'

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"

'Regular or decapitated?'

'Can I get a box for this?'

'Waiter! -- there's a candidate in my soup!'

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

'They're not mints - they're antacid tablets.'

'Our special of the day is spam sandwiches.'

"The Bluetooth Special comes with a side order of Wi-Fi."

You're pig-headed, Louis, I like that in a man.

"I'll have the prayer breakfast."

Zagat Rated.

'Yeah we found it, hey Ichabod, remember that jack o' lantern somebody left at table two this morning? Where is it?'

Gone out...here is a computer simulation of your dinner

Diner. Breakfast Specials. I'm a type "C" personality. Until I have my morning coffee I have no personality at all.

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

"Would you like to see a dessert menu or do you not need a little treat after each meal?"

I like the look of the sherry trifle!

Okay... which one of you ordered the holy mackerel?

'Ralph, I'm gonna' need wings on the fly!'

All You Can Tweet Restaurant.

"Just a drop."

'You made me jump,'