Desk Diner Gifts

'A word about desk dining...'

"A bigger sandwich doesn't grant you a longer lunch break."

'I hate to see you work during your lunch hour, so do me a favor and close your door.'

Dining Al-desko

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

Countervailing Clichés.

'Who gets the decaf?'

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

'How is the water prepared?'

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

'Well, if you're going to order 'left wings' and I'm going to order 'right,' maybe we should just order burgers instead.'

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"

"I'm surprised, Caswell. I thought you were a happy camper."

Maitre d' to astronaut couple entering restaurant: 'Gravity or no-gravity?'

'Regular or decapitated?'

'Our special of the day is spam sandwiches.'

"I'll have the prayer breakfast."

'Waiter! -- there's a candidate in my soup!'

'They're not mints - they're antacid tablets.'

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

"The Bluetooth Special comes with a side order of Wi-Fi."

Gone out...here is a computer simulation of your dinner

Chicken Coupe.

'You made me jump,'

'Your tea is getting cold.'

'Careful, the plate is really hot.'

I like the look of the sherry trifle!

All You Can Tweet Restaurant.

"Just a drop."

'Hey, Frenchie - you call this paupiettes de beouf aux legumes?'