Digital Diner Gifts

"Will you be dining with others tonight, or just the company of your smartphone?"

Gone out...here is a computer simulation of your dinner

"Is everything OK? You haven't photographed your food."

'Since we have gone paperless, the fortunes will appear on that screen.'

"This phone has so many pictures of food, my ringtone is a burp."

"Judging by the noises your stomach is making, this app can suggest which restaurant to go to, and what and how much to order."

"I wonder how many Facebook likes I'll get."

"We now require our patrons to order through our computers. Just log on to our website, create a username and password, read the terms and privacy policy, click on the menu..."

"I am your bot server. Page me by phone and tip me in bitcoins."

"I'm not eating a TV dinner. Now it's called 'Computer Cuisine.'"

'Let me know if you want me to adjust the webcam.'

'Our special of the day is spam sandwiches.'

"The Bluetooth Special comes with a side order of Wi-Fi."

'My name is Mark and I'll be your waiter for tonight. If you need anything, you can download it from my web site.'

Waiter, there's a wireless earbud phone in my soup.

"All my sophisticated payment apps say the same thing - it's your turn to pay."

'Yes, our menu has changed. It's now a digital e-menu.'

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

"I never thought I'd be so happy to see friends foodstagramming their restaurant meals."

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

Bad for you but to die for

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

Zagat Rated.

"...there, I found it. Stellar! I love this nutrition app!"

An art director eats: 'Waiter! Does this lettuce say 'salad' to you?'

Microwave confusion.

Internet Restaurant

"Sorry no half portions - at least that's the quantum theory."

"It's made with real angel hair."

'Maybe you shouldn't eat by your keyboard.'

Traditional Family Meals

'I hate to see you work during your lunch hour, so do me a favor and close your door.'

'I dreamed I was flying and I had airline food.'

"I recommend the businessman's lunch, sir, mammon notwithstanding."