Data-driven Diner Gifts

"Do you have a menu sorted by relevance, average customer review, and price low to high?"

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

Bad for you but to die for

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

Countervailing Clichés.

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

'How is the water prepared?'

Granny with balanced pie chart

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

'Well, if you're going to order 'left wings' and I'm going to order 'right,' maybe we should just order burgers instead.'

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

"For drinks or dinner?"

"The Bluetooth Special comes with a side order of Wi-Fi."

"No, no … the sashimi is fine. But I’m not crazy about your Wi-Fi signal."

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

'They're not mints - they're antacid tablets.'

'Our special of the day is spam sandwiches.'

Gone out...here is a computer simulation of your dinner

'Careful, the plate is really hot.'

Internet Restaurant

"Strictly organic ingredients section or Russian roulette with genetically modified foods section?"

"Sorry no half portions - at least that's the quantum theory."

'You made me jump,'

I like the look of the sherry trifle!

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

'Your tea is getting cold.'

"I'm not eating a TV dinner. Now it's called 'Computer Cuisine.'"

"I am your bot server. Page me by phone and tip me in bitcoins."

'Not yet! Wait until he hits the breaking point... we just gave him some warm, soft bread and the cold, hard butter... THEN we bring out the flimsy plastic knife.'

Did you slice this beef? You nearly missed.

'What's your thumb doing on my steak?' 'Want me to drop it again?'

'I'm sorry, sir, but cheeseburgers are out of season.'

You ARE entitled to return a meal...But NOT after you've eaten it!!

Cafe offers corn several ways.