Decisive Diner Gifts

"My heart says I should go with my head; my head says I should go with my gut."

Bad for you but to die for

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

"For drinks or dinner?"

Zagat Rated.

"The Bluetooth Special comes with a side order of Wi-Fi."

'Our special of the day is spam sandwiches.'

Gone out...here is a computer simulation of your dinner

'I'm afraid the Chef's Surprise today is that he ran off with one of the waitresses.'

"It's made with real angel hair."

"I am your bot server. Page me by phone and tip me in bitcoins."

"I'm not eating a TV dinner. Now it's called 'Computer Cuisine.'"

'Careful, the plate is really hot.'

"Pardon, I should have been more specific...is everything all right with THE MEAL?"

All You Can Tweet Restaurant.

Man finds a python in his breakfast egg

'What the devil is that?' - 'I don't know, I haven't named it yet.'

"I wonder how many Facebook likes I'll get."

"I recommend the businessman's lunch, sir, mammon notwithstanding."

"Try and push the eye of newt and wing of bat casserole."

'Wrong fork. Good Lord, man, don't you have any table manners?'

'Decisions, decisions!'

"Do you have a menu sorted by relevance, average customer review, and price low to high?"

"You're not going to believe this -- they're making deep-fried manna."

"Tonight, I feel like eating something controversial."

"It lights up and vibrates when your judgement's ready."

How to sell healthy food...

'It would never work out, Harry -- I'm wine and cheese, and you're beer and pretzels.'

"I'll have what she's having when she decides what she's having."

"Once again the correct answer is 'I don't know.'"

'So what's it to be, Indian cuisine, Chinese take out or are you going to do the usual Russian Roulette?'

'Mutter mutter...I was talking to my broccoli.'

Waiter, there's a wireless earbud phone in my soup.

'Troubled about eating meat? Ethicist on the premises.'