Decisive Diner Gifts

"My heart says I should go with my head; my head says I should go with my gut."

Bad for you but to die for

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

"For drinks or dinner?"

"The Bluetooth Special comes with a side order of Wi-Fi."

Zagat Rated.

'Our special of the day is spam sandwiches.'

Gone out...here is a computer simulation of your dinner

'Careful, the plate is really hot.'

"I am your bot server. Page me by phone and tip me in bitcoins."

"I'm not eating a TV dinner. Now it's called 'Computer Cuisine.'"

"It's made with real angel hair."

"Pardon, I should have been more specific...is everything all right with THE MEAL?"

'I'm afraid the Chef's Surprise today is that he ran off with one of the waitresses.'

Man finds a python in his breakfast egg

"I recommend the businessman's lunch, sir, mammon notwithstanding."

"I wonder how many Facebook likes I'll get."

"Try and push the eye of newt and wing of bat casserole."

'What the devil is that?' - 'I don't know, I haven't named it yet.'

'Wrong fork. Good Lord, man, don't you have any table manners?'

"Do you have a menu sorted by relevance, average customer review, and price low to high?"

'Decisions, decisions!'

"I'll have what she's having when she decides what she's having."

"Tonight, I feel like eating something controversial."

Waiter, there's a wireless earbud phone in my soup.

'It would never work out, Harry -- I'm wine and cheese, and you're beer and pretzels.'

'Mutter mutter...I was talking to my broccoli.'

"Once again the correct answer is 'I don't know.'"

"You're not going to believe this -- they're making deep-fried manna."

How to sell healthy food...

'So what's it to be, Indian cuisine, Chinese take out or are you going to do the usual Russian Roulette?'

'Troubled about eating meat? Ethicist on the premises.'

'Let me know if you want me to adjust the webcam.'