Diet-conscious Diner Gifts

"Do you have a lean cuisine, waiter?"

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"Even the waiters here are organic."

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

'I'm tired of this bread and water diet.'

"All our vegetables are organic, ethically sourced and stunned before being boiled."

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

"Just the steak for me and my friend will have the carbon dioxide and the water with the sunlight."

'Tartar sauce?! Heavens no. My dentist would kill me.'

'Most, yes, but they're not all carcinogenic!'

"Strictly organic ingredients section or Russian roulette with genetically modified foods section?"

Aiiiii! Fat! Cholesterol! Food!

'It's getting harder every day to make a living at this.'

Woman in Restaurant has Menu and Calorie Counter.

"Sunday dinner just isn't the same without growth promoters"

Diet Sugar House.

"I'll get the onion soup... it's the only thing on the menu that I don't know why it's bad for me!"

GMOs

"I eat the genetically modified flounder all the time and it's delicious."

'I'll have the food scare of the day.'

Healthy Chocolate Co.

'Are you sure this salmon was farm-raised?'

'They use paper plates.'

"Do you have a menu sorted by relevance, average customer review, and price low to high?"

"We use only free-range chicken and suicidal veal."

"Is this house gluten-free?"

Todays Special: Beans on Toast #2.50 (use of tin-opener 10- extra. . .)

We get so much produce from our farm share, I can't decide what to cook. Use everything! How about a stew with squash, peppers and corn in a zesty tomato base? Would your kids even put it on their plates? Of course! As long as it didn't touch the mac 'n' cheese.

Healthy Eating Fast

'I'm sorry, but the free range chicken escaped.'

"Here's your 'Senior Citizen Sunrise Special', Sir. And, NO! You can't have any salt!"

"Combination No. 5--no MSG."