Budget-conscious Diner Gifts

Price and serving size: A guide.

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

Todays Special: Beans on Toast #2.50 (use of tin-opener 10- extra. . .)

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"Would you like to see the markup?"

'I knew we should have brought your Marigolds, dear!'

'Would you care for a drink while your food is being defrosted?'

AS about Today's Specials' - 'Whatever didn't sell yesterday.'

Woman in Restaurant has Menu and Calorie Counter.

'We're having leftovers again. Don't worry, I shaved off all the fuzzy parts. I'm going to knit you a sweater.'

Food Prices

"Tell your chef I'd like something for a refined and cultured palate. For under ten bucks."

'I'm impressed at your choice sir, you certainly know your budget wines.'

"Hey, how about putting some cheese on this cheeseburger?" "OK, but it'll cost ya."

'I'm afraid we've reached the point where we have to cut out luxuries. How do you feel about food?'

'What price range did you have in mind?'

'It's half as good as our $10 special.'

'Eat it while it's still £6.50.'

'I think we might attract a better type of customer if we raised our standards a little.'

"Do you have a lean cuisine, waiter?"

"Why did you tell them we are vegetarians?

'Considering the state of our finances, maybe you should order the hock.'

Today, we introduce a new feature: Now That's Cheap. ™ We give customers used plastic utensils. We'll wash them after every use. This spoon's got a hole in it.

Diner. Greatest Value in Town. It's "Frugal" maps. My GPS that guides me to the best bargains to be found anywhere.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Probably not.

'Today's specials - Good, Fair, Lousy.

"Yes, I remember you. I recommend the house Merlot. It goes well with a bad tip."

Pick Your Own Lobster/Pick Your Own Baby Lamb Chop

You're economizing. ONly one letter in the alphabet soup.

'I'll just have the soup and the nuts. Skip everything in between.'

"Hmm...I'm not sure. What's good tonight?"

"The 'intern lunch' and a glass of water."

'The food stinks and the service is lousy. Why do you insist on coming here?'