Budget Dining Gifts

'Today's specials - Good, Fair, Lousy.

Diner. Greatest Value in Town. It's "Frugal" maps. My GPS that guides me to the best bargains to be found anywhere.

'It's half as good as our $10 special.'

'The food stinks and the service is lousy. Why do you insist on coming here?'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

Credit Crunch Corn Flakes.

'I knew we should have brought your Marigolds, dear!'

"It would be better with a protein, but add-ons are so expensive."

'Would you care for a drink while your food is being defrosted?'

AS about Today's Specials' - 'Whatever didn't sell yesterday.'

"We make all our cupcakes with love, which is way cheaper than real vanilla."

'We're having leftovers again. Don't worry, I shaved off all the fuzzy parts. I'm going to knit you a sweater.'

"Tell your chef I'd like something for a refined and cultured palate. For under ten bucks."

Food Prices

Todays Special: Beans on Toast #2.50 (use of tin-opener 10- extra. . .)

"We use the cheapest ingredients and pass the savings on to you."

Curry for Breakfast.

'What price range did you have in mind?'

'I'm afraid we've reached the point where we have to cut out luxuries. How do you feel about food?'

Price and serving size: A guide.

"Hey, how about putting some cheese on this cheeseburger?" "OK, but it'll cost ya."

Pizza By The Slice

Al's Diner. All You Can Eat $4.95. Well, shall we scurry up and down the food chain?

Please give! Buying organic food doesn't come cheap.

'I think we might attract a better type of customer if we raised our standards a little.'

'Considering the state of our finances, maybe you should order the hock.'

"Why did you tell them we are vegetarians?

Rene's Cafe: Eat dirt cheap.

Today, we introduce a new feature: Now That's Cheap. ™ We give customers used plastic utensils. We'll wash them after every use. This spoon's got a hole in it.

'I promised we'd eat out but looking at these prices I've decided to move the table into the garden. . .'

Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Probably not.

'With our low prices we can't afford a chef.'

"Yes, I remember you. I recommend the house Merlot. It goes well with a bad tip."

"What's good tonight...under $5?"