Penny-pinching Diner Gifts

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"Would you like to see the markup?"

'Try the steak tartare...it's okay.'

'I knew we should have brought your Marigolds, dear!'

'Yes, all our flambe dishes come with injury, liability insurance.'

Man eating his meal with his feet.

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

'I don't leave until I've heard all 25 songs.'

'Wrong fork. Good Lord, man, don't you have any table manners?'

Todays Special: Beans on Toast #2.50 (use of tin-opener 10- extra. . .)

'I'm impressed at your choice sir, you certainly know your budget wines.'

"Tell your chef I'd like something for a refined and cultured palate. For under ten bucks."

Price and serving size: A guide.

"The chef said all the regular stuff is as special as it's going to get today."

"Hey, how about putting some cheese on this cheeseburger?" "OK, but it'll cost ya."

'Sir has made the most discerning choice to wash it down with Drain Glug.'

'What price range did you have in mind?'

We're cutting down on packaging...so open wide!

"I'll start with the arugula-and-goat-cheese salad, and then I'll have the blackened wolf."

'Order somethin' else, Mae, today's prospector ain't quite dead yet.'

'Eat it while it's still £6.50.'

'I think we might attract a better type of customer if we raised our standards a little.'

Today, we introduce a new feature: Now That's Cheap. ™ We give customers used plastic utensils. We'll wash them after every use. This spoon's got a hole in it.

Le Cafe - 'No tip insurance, $10'.

'Considering the state of our finances, maybe you should order the hock.'

Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Probably not.

'Separate cheques?'

'Are you hinting you want to close up?'

'The food's pretty bad here, but we make up for it with especially large portions.'

'I'll just have the soup and the nuts. Skip everything in between.'

"Hmm...I'm not sure. What's good tonight?"

"For every meal, you should get something from each food group. That's an important message...even when you eat out! So, Gracie, what does your father tell you when you eat in a restaurant?"

Vincent has a sudden bout of dayjob vu.

"The 'intern lunch' and a glass of water."