Frugal Diner Gifts

"Would you like to see the markup?"

"Even the waiters here are organic."

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

'I knew we should have brought your Marigolds, dear!'

"It's natural, vegan organic, no additives, preservatives or cooking."

'Would you care for a drink while your food is being defrosted?'

Woman in Restaurant has Menu and Calorie Counter.

Restaurant: Come & Get It! Bland Cuisine - 'Just plain food, good, but nothing fancy.'

"I eat the genetically modified flounder all the time and it's delicious."

'I'm impressed at your choice sir, you certainly know your budget wines.'

Todays Special: Beans on Toast #2.50 (use of tin-opener 10- extra. . .)

"Two steaks, cruelly raised and brutally slaughtered. Enjoy!"

Posh restaurant - 'We'll have the sandwiches.'

"Waiter, there's a greenfly in my soup!"

'What price range did you have in mind?'

Price and serving size: A guide.

"Hey, how about putting some cheese on this cheeseburger?" "OK, but it'll cost ya."

'Troubled about eating meat? Ethicist on the premises.'

"With these electricity prices we can't afford cooking anymore. Imagine eating sausage-favored popsicles."

'It's half as good as our $10 special.'

'Eat it while it's still £6.50.'

"The service here is terrible."

'Excuse me, is this cutlery carbon neutral?'

'I think we might attract a better type of customer if we raised our standards a little.'

"I'm running late—some people were waiting for my table so I had to take my sweet time."

"We're having chicken Cuca for dinner tonight!"

'Considering the state of our finances, maybe you should order the hock.'

"I think this may be an appropriate moment to say a few words in memory of the animals we've slaughtered for our pleasure."

Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Probably not.