Frugal Diner Gifts

"Would you like to see the markup?"

"Even the waiters here are organic."

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

'I knew we should have brought your Marigolds, dear!'

"It's natural, vegan organic, no additives, preservatives or cooking."

'Would you care for a drink while your food is being defrosted?'

Woman in Restaurant has Menu and Calorie Counter.

Restaurant: Come & Get It! Bland Cuisine - 'Just plain food, good, but nothing fancy.'

"I eat the genetically modified flounder all the time and it's delicious."

"Never mind the cost of living crisis, dear, you still need your 5-a-day."

"Tell your chef I'd like something for a refined and cultured palate. For under ten bucks."

'I'm impressed at your choice sir, you certainly know your budget wines.'

Todays Special: Beans on Toast #2.50 (use of tin-opener 10- extra. . .)

"Two steaks, cruelly raised and brutally slaughtered. Enjoy!"

"Hey, how about putting some cheese on this cheeseburger?" "OK, but it'll cost ya."

Posh restaurant - 'We'll have the sandwiches.'

'What price range did you have in mind?'

"Waiter, there's a greenfly in my soup!"

Price and serving size: A guide.

'Troubled about eating meat? Ethicist on the premises.'

'Eat it while it's still £6.50.'

"With these electricity prices we can't afford cooking anymore. Imagine eating sausage-favored popsicles."

"The service here is terrible."

'It's half as good as our $10 special.'

'Excuse me, is this cutlery carbon neutral?'

'I think we might attract a better type of customer if we raised our standards a little.'

"Do you have a lean cuisine, waiter?"

Today, we introduce a new feature: Now That's Cheap. ™ We give customers used plastic utensils. We'll wash them after every use. This spoon's got a hole in it.

'Considering the state of our finances, maybe you should order the hock.'

Diner. Greatest Value in Town. It's "Frugal" maps. My GPS that guides me to the best bargains to be found anywhere.

"We're having chicken Cuca for dinner tonight!"

"I think this may be an appropriate moment to say a few words in memory of the animals we've slaughtered for our pleasure."

"I'm running late—some people were waiting for my table so I had to take my sweet time."