Eco-conscious Diner Gifts

"All the entrées are vegan, but they taste as good as endangered species."

'Are you sure this salmon was farm-raised?'

"All of our plastic utensils are manufactured locally."

"We use only free-range chicken and suicidal veal."

"I think the soup might be just a bit too salty."

'Well, that was sustainable dining...until we got the bill.'

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

'Do eat it quickly, sir -- it's organically grown, you know.'

'If you'd like to, you can discuss the question of eating genetically-modified food with our staff ethicist.'

Beware of Genetically Modified Food!

"You'll like this restaurant. All the food is locally sourced from nearby dumpsters."

Vegan Menu

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"Even the waiters here are organic."

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

"All our donuts are hand fried in what will eventually become biofuel."

"Geoffrey's seasonal. I'm regional."

Vegetarian Nightmare.

"I can't hurry when ordering. There's a lot of ecological geopolitics involved here."

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

"Just the steak for me and my friend will have the carbon dioxide and the water with the sunlight."

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

"Strictly organic ingredients section or Russian roulette with genetically modified foods section?"

'Could I have the traditional Christmas dinner but without meat or dairy and could guarantee it's organic and GM free.'

"The insect menu is very popular nowadays."

'No - we really don't cater for vegans, even our salad dressing is made from sperm oil!'

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."

Woman in Restaurant has Menu and Calorie Counter.

"We're making progress."