Sustainable Diner Gifts

"We want organic, we want local, and we want cruelty-free."

'Excuse me, is this cutlery carbon neutral?'

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"Waiter, there's a greenfly in my soup!"

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

Endangered Species restaurant

"I eat the genetically modified flounder all the time and it's delicious."

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

"Would you like to see the markup?"

"All our vegetables are organic, ethically sourced and stunned before being boiled."

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

For every Covid-19 death there are 2.5 deaths resulting from dietary risks.

Olive Oil

"Just the steak for me and my friend will have the carbon dioxide and the water with the sunlight."

'Bad news! More people are switching from red meat to fish!'

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

"Strictly organic ingredients section or Russian roulette with genetically modified foods section?"

"It's dangerous to eat pangolins, but..."

'Could I have the traditional Christmas dinner but without meat or dairy and could guarantee it's organic and GM free.'

Woman in Restaurant has Menu and Calorie Counter.

'Bless this food, and protect us from the pesticides and additives therein.'

What can I get you? Coffee? Tea? Sandwich? The mackerel mocha sounds lovely. What's in it? The usual. Chocolate. Soy milk. Mackerel. Yes, but is the mackerel farm-raised or from the sea? Ocean. Atlantic? Pacific? Indian? Arctic? Antarctic? I'm not sure. Oh. Ok ... well what's the mackerel's mercury content? Negligible, I'm sure. Ok. Was it exposed to any chlorine? Or copper sulphate? Or malathion? Was it treated with kindness? Was it read stories and sung to before bedtime? Yes. Never mind, it s

"I can't see them replacing fish and chips."

"Is the parchment in the salmon en papillote humanely raised?"

"How about you? Were you 'locally raised'?"

"I'll get the onion soup... it's the only thing on the menu that I don't know why it's bad for me!"

'Are you sure this salmon was farm-raised?'

'They use paper plates.'

"We use only free-range chicken and suicidal veal."

"Do you have a menu sorted by relevance, average customer review, and price low to high?"

"Here's some baby spinach - from my soil to your plate."