Health-conscious Diner Gifts

"For what we are about to receive, let it not contain any mad cow disease..."

"Hmmmmm -- Choices, choices..."

'The only thing I can honestly recommend, Sir, is get plenty of fresh air and exercise.'

'Do you have another menu of what I can have?'

"I'll get the onion soup... it's the only thing on the menu that I don't know why it's bad for me!"

"Strictly organic ingredients section or Russian roulette with genetically modified foods section?"

"We're a Vegan Drive Thru so we don't have any Happy Meals or even somewhat pleasurable meals."

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"Even the waiters here are organic."

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

"All our vegetables are organic, ethically sourced and stunned before being boiled."

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

"Just the steak for me and my friend will have the carbon dioxide and the water with the sunlight."

'Most, yes, but they're not all carcinogenic!'

'Tartar sauce?! Heavens no. My dentist would kill me.'

Aiiiii! Fat! Cholesterol! Food!

'It's getting harder every day to make a living at this.'

Woman in Restaurant has Menu and Calorie Counter.

"Sunday dinner just isn't the same without growth promoters"

"Okay, who hasn’t eaten a McDonald’s burger in the past two days?"

"There. Straight from the organic veggie patch. The world's most expensive carrot."

Man eating his meal with his feet.

What can I get you? Coffee? Tea? Sandwich? The mackerel mocha sounds lovely. What's in it? The usual. Chocolate. Soy milk. Mackerel. Yes, but is the mackerel farm-raised or from the sea? Ocean. Atlantic? Pacific? Indian? Arctic? Antarctic? I'm not sure. Oh. Ok ... well what's the mackerel's mercury content? Negligible, I'm sure. Ok. Was it exposed to any chlorine? Or copper sulphate? Or malathion? Was it treated with kindness? Was it read stories and sung to before bedtime? Yes. Never mind, it s

"I eat the genetically modified flounder all the time and it's delicious."

GMOs

Healthy Chocolate Co.

'I'll have the food scare of the day.'

'Are you sure this salmon was farm-raised?'

Apple Tree Dispenser

"We use only free-range chicken and suicidal veal."

'If only you would let me cover this Tofu-vegetables stuff with ketchup, it would at least LOOK like real food...'

"Is this house gluten-free?"