Health-conscious Diners Gifts

'Tartar sauce?! Heavens no. My dentist would kill me.'

But is it organic?

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

'Diet considerations.'

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

'Needs more kale.'

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

Making healthy eating bearable.

'VEGETARIAN ZOMBIES' BW

'Non-alcohol beer, unsalted potato chips and tofu hot dogs? Why did you accept a party invitation from a cardiologist?'

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

'Most, yes, but they're not all carcinogenic!'

'Trade you lunches?'

"Strictly organic ingredients section or Russian roulette with genetically modified foods section?"

"Is everything all right? Any reactions to the irradiated carrots, the transgenic tomatoes, or the antibiotics in the chicken?"

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

Aiiiii! Fat! Cholesterol! Food!

'It's getting harder every day to make a living at this.'

"Tonight's specials include beef wellington (long regarded as a major source of cholesterol and saturated fat), Cajun-style swordfish (suspected of containing PCBs and toxic metals), and chicken teriyaki (recent increase in the incidence of salmonella whi

"Sunday dinner just isn't the same without growth promoters"

Woman in Restaurant has Menu and Calorie Counter.

Complex Carbs

'Bless this food, and protect us from the pesticides and additives therein.'

"It appears your high sodium bacon is playing havoc with your blood pressure."

"I'll get the onion soup... it's the only thing on the menu that I don't know why it's bad for me!"

"Okay, who hasn’t eaten a McDonald’s burger in the past two days?"

All You Can Eat Buffet: "Remember, my safe word is 'Diabetes.'"

Food that is good for you and food that is good for drug companies.

"There. Straight from the organic veggie patch. The world's most expensive carrot."

What can I get you? Coffee? Tea? Sandwich? The mackerel mocha sounds lovely. What's in it? The usual. Chocolate. Soy milk. Mackerel. Yes, but is the mackerel farm-raised or from the sea? Ocean. Atlantic? Pacific? Indian? Arctic? Antarctic? I'm not sure. Oh. Ok ... well what's the mackerel's mercury content? Negligible, I'm sure. Ok. Was it exposed to any chlorine? Or copper sulphate? Or malathion? Was it treated with kindness? Was it read stories and sung to before bedtime? Yes. Never mind, it s

GMOs

"I'd like a vanilla cupcake with buttercream icing on the side."

Healthy Chocolate Co.