Health-conscious Eaters Gifts

'No, I haven't heard that the FDA has taken broccoli off the market.'

"Okay, who hasn’t eaten a McDonald’s burger in the past two days?"

'If only you would let me cover this Tofu-vegetables stuff with ketchup, it would at least LOOK like real food...'

"There. Straight from the organic veggie patch. The world's most expensive carrot."

Apple Tree Dispenser

But is it organic?

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

Vegetarian Nightmare.

"I can't hurry when ordering. There's a lot of ecological geopolitics involved here."

'Diet considerations.'

"Geoffrey's seasonal. I'm regional."

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'Needs more kale.'

I'd like a mocha almond vanilla latte...hold the coffee.

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

Making healthy eating bearable.

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

'Non-alcohol beer, unsalted potato chips and tofu hot dogs? Why did you accept a party invitation from a cardiologist?'

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

'Most, yes, but they're not all carcinogenic!'

'Tartar sauce?! Heavens no. My dentist would kill me.'

'Trade you lunches?'

'Could I have the traditional Christmas dinner but without meat or dairy and could guarantee it's organic and GM free.'

"Is everything all right? Any reactions to the irradiated carrots, the transgenic tomatoes, or the antibiotics in the chicken?"

"The insect menu is very popular nowadays."

Aiiiii! Fat! Cholesterol! Food!

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

'It's getting harder every day to make a living at this.'

"Tonight's specials include beef wellington (long regarded as a major source of cholesterol and saturated fat), Cajun-style swordfish (suspected of containing PCBs and toxic metals), and chicken teriyaki (recent increase in the incidence of salmonella whi

"Sunday dinner just isn't the same without growth promoters"

Complex Carbs