Health-conscious Eaters Gifts

'No, I haven't heard that the FDA has taken broccoli off the market.'

"Okay, who hasn’t eaten a McDonald’s burger in the past two days?"

'If only you would let me cover this Tofu-vegetables stuff with ketchup, it would at least LOOK like real food...'

"There. Straight from the organic veggie patch. The world's most expensive carrot."

Apple Tree Dispenser

But is it organic?

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

'Diet considerations.'

"I can't hurry when ordering. There's a lot of ecological geopolitics involved here."

Vegetarian Nightmare.

"Geoffrey's seasonal. I'm regional."

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'Needs more kale.'

I'd like a mocha almond vanilla latte...hold the coffee.

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

Making healthy eating bearable.

'Non-alcohol beer, unsalted potato chips and tofu hot dogs? Why did you accept a party invitation from a cardiologist?'

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

'Most, yes, but they're not all carcinogenic!'

'Trade you lunches?'

'Tartar sauce?! Heavens no. My dentist would kill me.'

"The insect menu is very popular nowadays."

Aiiiii! Fat! Cholesterol! Food!

'Could I have the traditional Christmas dinner but without meat or dairy and could guarantee it's organic and GM free.'

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

O'Malley's Pub. Special: Cloned Beef and Cabbage. Is nothing sacred anymore?

"Is everything all right? Any reactions to the irradiated carrots, the transgenic tomatoes, or the antibiotics in the chicken?"

'It's getting harder every day to make a living at this.'

"Tonight's specials include beef wellington (long regarded as a major source of cholesterol and saturated fat), Cajun-style swordfish (suspected of containing PCBs and toxic metals), and chicken teriyaki (recent increase in the incidence of salmonella whi

"Sunday dinner just isn't the same without growth promoters"