Health-conscious Indulger Gifts

"I, too, used to drink the amber-colored fluids, gentlemen, but now, owing to health considerations, I drink only the crystal-clear fluids."

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to cancel your Thanksgiving."

But is it organic?

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

All Natural Nothing

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

'Diet considerations.'

I'd like a mocha almond vanilla latte...hold the coffee.

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

Making healthy eating bearable.

Man in radiation suit with 'Fresh Farm Produce'.

'Non-alcohol beer, unsalted potato chips and tofu hot dogs? Why did you accept a party invitation from a cardiologist?'

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

'Trade you lunches?'

'Most, yes, but they're not all carcinogenic!'

"Your chocolate biscuits and cakes are getting smaller - and where's your sweets aisle?"

"Is everything all right? Any reactions to the irradiated carrots, the transgenic tomatoes, or the antibiotics in the chicken?"

Aiiiii! Fat! Cholesterol! Food!

"Strictly organic ingredients section or Russian roulette with genetically modified foods section?"

'We cut it into teensy-weensy squares.'

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

'It's getting harder every day to make a living at this.'

"Tonight's specials include beef wellington (long regarded as a major source of cholesterol and saturated fat), Cajun-style swordfish (suspected of containing PCBs and toxic metals), and chicken teriyaki (recent increase in the incidence of salmonella whi

"Sunday dinner just isn't the same without growth promoters"

Complex Carbs

"I'll get the onion soup... it's the only thing on the menu that I don't know why it's bad for me!"

All You Can Eat Buffet: "Remember, my safe word is 'Diabetes.'"

"It appears your high sodium bacon is playing havoc with your blood pressure."

Food that is good for you and food that is good for drug companies.

"There. Straight from the organic veggie patch. The world's most expensive carrot."

GMOs