Health-conscious Drinker Gifts

The professor had developed a product that would change the world forever.

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

Happy Hour

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

I'd like a mocha almond vanilla latte...hold the coffee.

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

'Try my health brew...1% fat, no cholesterol, high fiber and low sodium.'

The drinker.

'Is it organic?'

Spring.

"...and lay off the energy drinks..."

"Okay, who hasn’t eaten a McDonald’s burger in the past two days?"

'In that case I'll do nothing!'

"It's very important to wash your hooves!"

"There. Straight from the organic veggie patch. The world's most expensive carrot."

Football fans in corona times

'My prescription: digital textbooks.'

"So if I need to stop smoking and lose weight..what are you going to do about it?"

"And while you're waiting for your drinks can I get you something from the bar?"

"Sorry sir - our sun screen only goes up to Factor - 100..."

'Satchel, I have a hunch...'

'If only you would let me cover this Tofu-vegetables stuff with ketchup, it would at least LOOK like real food...'

Apple Tree Dispenser

'Single or double?'

"You're not allowed to enter the city. Your exhaust emissions are much too high!"

'I can give up drinking and lead a normal life?- Make up your mind, will you?'

"Mind if I shoot through?"

Jesus turns water into Vitamin Water.

Global warming finally hits home. . .

Recreational and Medicinal Wines

WARNING: Smoking turns you into a donkey.

"India ink, straight."

'I should've stayed the way I was. Now, I have to exercise, watch my cholesterol, and dodge this little pest called Cupid.'

Diet Smell...