Health Drink Aficionado Gifts

Jesus turns water into Vitamin Water.

'Satchel, I have a hunch...'

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

Happy Hour

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

You're the botanicals in my gin

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

"I do like a plant that can hold its drink"

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

"How come portion control doesn't apply to broccoli?"

Mary Margaret, the best bar Nun.

"And what would the, Truth-in-Advertising tribunal, want to speak to old Rudy about?"

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet

'Try my health brew...1% fat, no cholesterol, high fiber and low sodium.'

Roller Coasters

"I love blue Martinis. It's like the fifties and the nineties all mixed up together."

'Somehow it just doesn't seem worth it for a one man business.'

"In other news, oil and gas prices became irrelevant today when scientists announced that pretty much anything can run on caffeine."

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the grande size anymore without a prescription.'

Tea Snob.

"Wheatgrass is highly effective at neutralizing joy."

"Too much caffeine for Mr. Hopper"

"It's just the usual Wednesday crowd."

Man swipes friend's drink, saying: 'Thanks Dave, I'll have what you're having.'

"And while you're waiting for your drinks can I get you something from the bar?"

"Protein bars! Energy drinks!"

'I'd like a brandy please...'

"There's a two drink limit if you're going to use the monkey bars."