Health Drinks Gifts

'Try my health brew...1% fat, no cholesterol, high fiber and low sodium.'

"Honey, did you incorporate our entire home into one of your zany health smoothies."

'...So it's an orange orange Roughy smoothie?'

'Satchel, I have a hunch...'

'What's your poison?'

"How passe, darling, everyone I know is re-toxing these days!"

"Is there carrot in this smoothie?"

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"This place has the best happy hour."

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

On holiday.

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

Selling lemon latt�

Cat Nip.

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

'Steak Ted?'

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

'No ice.'

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

Low-Energy Drinks

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

Beers

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

"I've tasted better myself, but you've got to admit the service is good."

The Alpha Seltzer

"Two burgers, two fries, two martinis—and we'll have those to go."

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"