Diet Drinks Gifts

Extra Light Beer

Soup of the month.

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

The discovery of asparagus.

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

'I've found a way to improve on light beer!'

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

'Coffee must wear you out. They're always sleepy when they drink it.'

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

'Vegetarian is an old Indian word which means bad hunter.'

'Now, for the hyperactive, we've come up with a lethargy drink.'

'New Barbeque.'

Looking at magnetic polarity one understands why an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

"You won’t need refills."

Macho Vegetarian

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

'Try my health brew...1% fat, no cholesterol, high fiber and low sodium.'

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

Cathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

'Most, yes, but they're not all carcinogenic!'

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the grande size anymore without a prescription.'

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

'According to Dr Alvin McDowell, everything that was good for you is now bad for you!'

"Some doctor that guy is - He's OBSESSED with diet and exercise!"

"The only way to stop the spread is to eat less and exercise more."

'You're eating too much roughage.'

“Children hate me.”