Diet Soda Enthusiast Gifts

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"We won!"

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

The Alpha Seltzer

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

All Natural Nothing

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

'How about joining us for a soda and pizza after the ceremony?'

'I've found a way to improve on light beer!'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

Fat man on scales.

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

"Losing your fizz is very common for a man your age."

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

'Do you mind if I take a straw?'

'This high fiber diet is great! I've lost 10 pounds since I started eating my stuffing.'

'I thought I told you to cut down on sugar.'

"I would kill for your metabolism."

'Id like to see you in two weeks. Try not to eat during that time.'

'Bottled water or other non-carbonated diet beverage!'

"My holy grail is low-fat, low-cal, high-taste."