Diet Soda Gifts

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

Soup of the month.

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"We won!"

The Alpha Seltzer

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

The discovery of asparagus.

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

'You put him on a diet, so he put you on a diet.'

'Vegetarian is an old Indian word which means bad hunter.'

Macho Vegetarian

Looking at magnetic polarity one understands why an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

"Losing your fizz is very common for a man your age."

"...there, I found it. Stellar! I love this nutrition app!"

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

"You won’t need refills."

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

Cathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

'Most, yes, but they're not all carcinogenic!'

'Is your cap on tight? We don't want any more accidents in the bed, do we?'

"Frankly Mr. Watkins - all your current health issues are down to you rubbish diet..."

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

"Some doctor that guy is - He's OBSESSED with diet and exercise!"