Diet Divas Gifts

"Twice a week I eat nothing but fruit."

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

George's diet was a tad too successful.

"How many, 'This will go right to my hips' in a jelly donut?"

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

"Where do we put Desserts?"

La Table

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

'Not that sort of body building program!'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'Like death by salad.'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

Critisize your weight.

"I come here for the pepper."

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

Secretive Weigh In.

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

"Are you sure you want to see the kitchen? The chef is naked."

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'