Dietary Divas Gifts

The Last Thanksgiving

"Early Bird, you need to go easy on the worms."

"These aren't just your ordinary town square pigeons, that's low gi gluten-free bread. . ."

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

"Where do we put Desserts?"

La Table

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

"I come here for the pepper."

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

"Charles didn't like tofu."

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

"Are you sure you want to see the kitchen? The chef is naked."

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

"Excuse me, but could you ask the chef to make this a little more photogenic?"

"Don't bother gathering carbs for me, I'm on the Paleo diet."