Dining Divas Gifts

"I had to bite him once, but now I always get a great table."

"Yes, sir, there's a fly in your soup... There's a fly in everybody's soup!"

'Hi, we're salt and pepper, your condiments for the evening.'

"Why, yes, I am 'still working on that.' You know what I'm not working on? Your gratuity!"

'I'm not repeating the specials again until everyone puts down their phones.'

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

"Where do we put Desserts?"

La Table

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"I come here for the pepper."

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

"Are you sure you want to see the kitchen? The chef is naked."

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

Man says: 'Great pizza, but the mozzarella was a bit stringy.'

'What have I made for dinner? A reservation at the restaurant down the road. . .'

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

"Larry never gains an ounce!"

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

"Today's special is we'll pull the plug on the jukebox if someone else's music annoys you."

'We've run out of Parmesan cheese.' Food in pasta.

"More croutons, sir?"

'Listen, Geoffrey ...I know you're a clinical psychologist, but I DON'T have A.D.D. ! You're just incredibly boring.'

"I can't have anything that's a food."