Dining Divas Pillows

"I had to bite him once, but now I always get a great table."

"Yes, sir, there's a fly in your soup... There's a fly in everybody's soup!"

'Hi, we're salt and pepper, your condiments for the evening.'

"Why, yes, I am 'still working on that.' You know what I'm not working on? Your gratuity!"

Foodies at a Diner. We'll have the alphabet soup, unless it's Helvetica or Times New Roman.

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

'I'm not repeating the specials again until everyone puts down their phones.'

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

"Where do we put Desserts?"

La Table

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

"I come here for the pepper."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

"Are you sure you want to see the kitchen? The chef is naked."

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

Man says: 'Great pizza, but the mozzarella was a bit stringy.'

"Excuse me, but could you ask the chef to make this a little more photogenic?"

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

'What have I made for dinner? A reservation at the restaurant down the road. . .'

I told you I got us the best table in the house. Pizza.

"Larry never gains an ounce!"

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

'We've run out of Parmesan cheese.' Food in pasta.