Dine-in Diva Gifts

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

"Where do we put Desserts?"

La Table

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

"I come here for the pepper."

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

"Are you sure you want to see the kitchen? The chef is naked."

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

'What have I made for dinner? A reservation at the restaurant down the road. . .'

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

"Larry never gains an ounce!"

"Today's special is we'll pull the plug on the jukebox if someone else's music annoys you."

'We've run out of Parmesan cheese.' Food in pasta.

"More croutons, sir?"

'Listen, Geoffrey ...I know you're a clinical psychologist, but I DON'T have A.D.D. ! You're just incredibly boring.'

"I can't have anything that's a food."

"Whatever is quickest - I'm starving!"

"Of course I mind—they're mine, and I want all of them."